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Every Superwoman Needs Some Self-Care

March 10, 2023•8 min read

I get it. You have a job. You’re a mom. You have life obligations. You have family. You have friends. You have projects. You have carpool lines. You have housework. You have pets. You have a partner. All of which deserve your attention and are time consuming. So, you don’t have time for self-care.

Well…. Sorry to be blunt but...You DO. You have 10 or 15 minutes somewhere in your day to take time to yourself. It may seem impossible, but I promise you, it’s not.

Let’s back up.

What is Self Care?

Honestly, it looks differently for everyone. Self-care is anything* you do to be good to yourself. I put an asterix by anything because drinking a bottle of wine at the end of the night might seem like it’s good for us, but that’s not exactlyyy what I mean by self-care. Anywho, at the end of the day self-care is about showing yourself some kindness and compassion; it’s recognizing and acknowledging when your stress bucket is filling up; it’s about pressing the pause button and replenishing before that bucket overflows.

Unlike that bottle of wine, which gives us some temporary relief, true self-care activities provide long-term benefits for the mind, body, & spirit.

Self-Care Benefits

When we add self-care to our lives, we are making a commitment to learning, growing, and overall bettering our lifestyle. That’s coming from experience. But, since I’m all about evidence-based rationales… let’s check out what the research says.

TOP 6 BENEFITS OF SELF-CARE

Increases Cognitive Function & Productivity
- Self-care allows us to press pause. By slowing down and learning how to say “no” to certain commitments, there will be less overexertion and more prioritization. Slowing down allows us to focus and concentrate more on what matters. As Dr. Thackeray, a clinical psychologist, states “people that look after themselves and practice self-care do have better cognitive ability. They do have better focus and they do have better concentration. They tend to actually produce more.”

Improved Physical Health
- When you’re able to handle stress more efficiently, and under less stress in general, your overall immune system improves (see point below). In turn, you’ll feel stronger inside and out. And when that happens, you’re better able to physically perform at an optimal level. Whether that’s exercising, doing work around the house, taking the dogs on a walk, or, ya know, other things (*inappropriate, CeCe*).
Better Resistance to Disease
- Evidence shows that most self-care activities activate our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). When we rest, exercise, practice mindfulness, or take a hot bath, we activate the PNS and our body is sent into ‘rest and restore’ mode - allowing ourselves to decompress. During the ‘rest and restore’ mode, our immune system has the opportunity to rebuild its defense wall (versus during ‘fight or flight’ which tears that wall down).
  Self-care significantly reduces stress levels and provides us with the ability to better handle stress when it does occur. There is extensive literature on how stress damages the immune system, but I'll just break down a few key points.
- The link between the central nervous system (CNS) and the immune system is well documented. Under stress, the CNS releases stress hormones that disrupt the balance and stability of the immune system, which causes serious health consequences, such as:

Overall immune dysregulation
- Altered response to infectious pathogens (i.e. viruses, bacteria, parasites, etc).
- Suppression of anti-inflammatory cytokines (big words for proteins that initiate the proper inflammatory response against pathogens).
- Faster progression of chronic illness
- Increased reactivation of latent viruses (particularly Herpes Simplex Virus 1 & 2, Epstein-Barr Virus, and Cytomegalovirus)
- More frequent recurrences of specific viruses (Herpes Simplex Virus 1 & 2)
- Decreased natural killer cell activity (white blood cells that are part of our innate immune system, they work to limit the spread of microbial infections/tumors)
- Disruption of pro-inflammatory cytokines (proteins that stimulate inflammation)
- Slower wound healing (one study revealed wounds heal 40% slower while under stress)
- Increased sensitization between cytokines and stressors. Meaning, people who have a long history of being stressed demonstrate a higher cytokine (inflammation) response when re-exposed to certain stressors. One cytokine in particular, IL-6, rises when we’re under lots of stress. Increased IL-6 has been linked to cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, frailty, and chronic lymphocytic leukemia.
Enhanced Self-Esteem
- This one is pretty simple. When you take care of yourself, you feel better. By carving out time to be good to yourself, you’re sending a positive message to your subconscious. This can be extremely beneficial in discouraging negative self-talk and quieting your inner critic. We’re able to take the time to show ourselves some compassion; to view ourselves, our experiences, our history, and our future in a more positive light. Showing self compassion is about being understanding towards ourselves when we fail or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring those feelings or infiltrating our minds with self-criticism.
Increased Self-Awareness
- Self-care requires you to think about what you really love to do. And I don’t just mean on the surface, I mean what truly fills your heart with gratitude, refuels you & energizes you.
  
  ASK YOURSELF, ‘WHAT CAN I DO FOR MYSELF THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD?’
- It may take some time to figure out.
- As we grow into adulthood and/or parenthood, we are somewhat conditioned to believe that taking time for ourselves is selfish. When that happens, we tend to seek fulfillment from outside sources. But when we open up to self-care, we reconnect with ourselves. We gain the ability to know exactly what we need and when we need it.

More to Give
- Going back to the selfish topic… I feel as women we have this innate feeling that if we’re doing something for ourselves that means we aren’t doing something for someone else. At least that’s how I used to feel, especially as a mama. I placed the value of my contributions to others over myself. What I’ve had to learn is that when my cup is half full my kids and my husband get the bad end of the stick. Under high stress and anxiety, I react quicker, snap more easily, and rush through things I should be enjoying (like reading the kids books at bedtime). I can’t fill their cups when mine is empty.
- The more I practice self-care the more capacity I have for family and friends. It takes practice and time, but in the end it is so dang worth it.

Examples of Self-Care

Slowing down and taking time for yourself can look very different for each unique individual. But, here are some of my favorites.

Meditate. This is my personal favorite. Take 5-10 minutes every morning to start your day off refreshed. I use the app Insight Timer for guidance, other great ones are Headspace or Calm.
Take A Bath. Second favorite. Detox baths are super relaxing and stress-reducing. Especially at the end of a long work day when the kids are asleep, it’s heaven. Add 1-2 cups of Epsom salt with some clary sage essential oil. Relax for 20 minutes, you’ll thank me later.
Go Outside. For me, this goes along with meditating because I always meditate outside with my feet in the grass. But if meditating isn’t your thing, play some music and go sit in the sunshine. Close your eyes. Smell the fresh air. Focus on your breathing.
Move. Stretch, walk, dance, run, bike, hop, skip. Do yoga, crossfit, ping pong, synchronized swimming. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as YOU enjoy it.
Create. Cook, bake, draw, paint, construct, find some awesome DIY projects on Pinterest, whatever floats your boat. This can be a great way to express yourself for those who need more hands-on self-care activities.
Talk. Sometimes self-care may take the form of expressing ourselves verbally, whether that’s over coffee with a good friend or to a therapist. Personally, I do both. There is such a stigma behind going to a counselor when the reality is most of us freaking need it. It takes courage to sit in front of someone and to be honest about your entire self and your flaws or the flaws in your partnership. And then to work on those flaws consistently for the sake of self, marital, & parental growth. It takes guts, ya’ll.

Click here to read some more great ideas for sensory, emotional, spiritual, physical, and social self-care ideas.

ALRIGHT, SO IT SOUNDS ALL GOOD & DANDY, BUT…

How do we implement self-care in a hectic life?

To start, you can create a schedule that includes a morning routine, blocked off work hours, and some short breaks throughout the day. During those breaks, back away from stressors - do a breathing exercise, take a short walk, read a few pages out of a good book, listen to part of a podcast. The Pomodoro Technique is a great resource to help insert breaks into a busy schedule, set a morning routine, and maximize your time.

Next, set boundaries and learn to say ‘no’. If you don’t want to be interrupted, whether at work or home, turn your phone off or set it somewhere you can’t see or hear it. Start saying ‘no’ to last-minute meetings, friends, and even family (when appropriate). Being unable to say no can leave us feeling exhausted, tired, overworked, and irritable. It also undermines the effort we’re putting in to improve our quality of life.

Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. It’s not about some elaborate trip with everyday spa sessions. It’s about short, frequent self-care activities that fill your cup. That make you, as a unique human, feel recharged and refilled.

We can only be the best for others when we’re the best version of ourselves. Becoming that human… well that is a great use of time.